A Sense of Family

Family, in the traditional sense, are the people that you are related to when you are born into this world. People say you can't pick your family, but honestly, I can't agree with this. I pick who I consider my family, and cast out the rest if they are toxic in my life. Family to me isn't just about being related. Family is something so much more. I have friends that I consider more of my family than some of the people I am related to.

Some people justify the horrible actions of relatives by saying they are family, and that family sticks together, no matter what. I just cannot justify keeping someone in my life that treats me or my love ones so terribly that they cause nothing but problems. Just because someone is related to me does not mean that I have to have that person involved in my life. The perfect example is my "mother". She is the one who donated the egg and womb in the process of creating me. But, just because she slept with my dad and created me, is not justification for her being totally being bat shit crazy towards me or anyone else that I care about and me still keeping her around.

 Now my mom on the hand, is a completely different person. This is the woman who took me in as her own and she raised me. She was the one there when I was sick, when I was bad and good, when I needed advice, and even after she left my Dad. At this point she is "technically" my ex-step-mother. But titles really don't matter to me. She is my Mom. She is my family. That thing that birthed me, is not.

Family means so much more to me. Family is there for you. Family loves you, even when you screw up. They don't turn their backs on you. They want the best for you, and actually act like it. You don't always have complete harmony in family, but constant backstabbing, lying, hating, and mistreatment is just not something that true family does. Almost all of my relatives are considered family. My closest friends are my family. I have extra "aunts", "sisters", and "brothers" that are really good friends who made it into my family.

Family is something special. They mean the most to you. No matter their story, or where they come from, they mean the most to you. There is a love that you feel for these people that cannot be broken. A bond that keeps you connected. That bond is something special, and the special things are the most treasured.

Money comes and goes. People enter and leave our lives. Material items loose value and break. The treasure of your true family never fades.

Be wonderful. Be Beautiful. Be you.

~Ashlie

She's Pretty for a.......HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!

I am a woman. I am a mother. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a girlfriend.  I am a friend. I am a lot of things. Including fat. Something that seems to be a stigma. “She’s pretty for a fat girl.” “You have such a pretty face, for a fat girl.” Why can’t I be pretty AND fat? Self esteem is heavily lacking in the world. But before you determine that you are self loathing and depressed, make sure you are not surrounded by assholes. See yourself as you are. Not how other’s think you are.  See wonderful you.

I fear for my daughter’s self esteem. She is only seven but I have already heard her tell me things she doesn’t like about herself. I am a brunette and she is blonde. I LOVE her blonde hair, yet she told me one day she wanted to dye her’s blonde because she didn’t like her’s the way it is. I felt guilty in that moment. She knows that I dye my hair. I know I am teaching her by what I do and say. I told her that she is beautiful. And I will always tell her this. I told her to never listen to what society thinks beauty is. Be whatever you want to be. Live how you want to be. Live for wonderful you.

At the same time, if you want to dye your hair, or pierce whatever, do it. Wear what you want, talk how you please, live how you feel. No one has to live your life but you. Be thin if you want to be, and be big if you want. Change whatever you want, but love yourself anyways. Be wonderful you.

Everyone is beautiful in their own special way. Doesn’t matter if you are tall, short, black, white, disabled, able-bodied, thin, thick, male, female, or any gender type. There is no right or wrong way to live your life, and to keep your body. Be you. Be beautiful.

Don’t think that I don’t struggle. I struggle daily with my self perception. I am sure the person I see in the mirror is not who others see when they look at me. I hate myself some days. And love myself on other days. One thing I do know, though, is no matter what I look like on the outside, it does not define who I am on the inside.

Be wonderful. Be beautiful. Be you.

~Ashlie